Sexual confidence came up a lot during this week’s The Real Sex Education podcast, where we spoke to writer and comedian Jayde Adams about the way her sex education and sexual experiences have affected her. What she said provides considerable food for thought, especially as so many people assume they should be sexually confident. Indeed, losing sexual confidence – or never having it in the first place – contributes to many common sexual problems. Anxiety about ‘getting it right’ makes things go wrong. This then feeds fears that something will go wrong again, which can lead to sex becoming a fraught and hurried experience – trying to get it done before something bad happens. Ultimately, couples often avoid sex altogether. What may begin with one partner being a little reluctant can end with neither able to communicate about sex at all, both feeling they’ve failed and fearing they’re unloved.
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Cate Campbell 